Tuesday, July 05, 2011

The Etiquette of Passing

Be it known before you read much further that I am a notoriously crabby person. To me, everything is too hot, too cold or just right and why can’t it be just right EVERY time goddamit?



I am, as has been recounted numerous times, a backpacker. Except for on the swim, where I am more of a midpacker. For me, this is a source of profound frustration because I find myself being passed by every adolescent, geriatric and everything in between for the duration of the race. I’ll never forget the Spokane Troika Half-I’m maybe a mile from the finish when a woman in her sixties (maybe seventies) passed me and uttered the phrase I have come to loathe with every fiber of my being:



“Good job.” Which was really self-congratulatory to herself, because if I am doing a good job, and she is passing me, then she must be doing an amazing job.



So let’s review what I consider undeliberately (?) condescending phrases that should be excised and cause for expulsion from triathlon when passing another athlete.



1. Good job/nice job


2. Looking good


3. You’re almost there


4. Keep it up



I prefer phrases that don’t cause the counter phrase “eff you” to pop into my head, something open-ended and vague that merely requires a grunt or a nod rather than something that obliges me to say thanks, you look even better than me because you’re passing me right now.



Some good examples are:



1. A vague reference to the weather-Really (hot, cold, cloudy, sunny, humid, dry) day out…


2. Hi (and all variations thereof)


3. How’s it going? (borderline)


4. Should I call 911?


5. Handle bar wave


6. Nod


7. Nice ass (females preferred, but I'll take it wherever I can get it)



Yes, I’m lacking in sportsmanship.

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