Race Clothing and Chotchees

I look in my closet and it’s full of t-shirts of different colors, shapes and sizes. I have key chains, untouched power gels and bars, medals, safety pins and race numbers, not to mention thrown away pamphlets and other miscellaney.

All my disposable income is dedicated to triathlon and food for fueling participation in triathlon. I don’t own a cell phone, my own computer or any of the other million electronic gadgets people spend their money on. I own a bike, a swimsuit and running shorts and triathlon books-throw in a very worn out pair of running shoes and you’re looking at the equivalent of a ski bum/read: tri bum. Money not spent on food is scrupulously saved and spent on entry fees. I would do two events per weekend if I could starting in April and finishing…well, never finishing, I’d do it all year round.

But the reality is that I have to work for a living and dress business-appropriately. Add the obligations of spending time with my lovely coach and all that that entails (nice vacations to Hawaii-I’m not complaining) and I have no budget left for clothes, dry cleaning or even the occasional movie. I'm starting to come to work looking like an unsuccessful salesman.

So to race organizers, I have a message to you. Instead of these countless t-shirts, gels and other junk I provide below a list of things I would really appreciate receiving upon completion (or even registration) of a race. I have enough $70-$350 t-shirts for a lifetime:

Socks-dress or white
Belts-brown, preferably black
White t-shirts-no logos, you can see logos through white dress shirts
Underwear-briefs, thank you
Dress pants-find a sponsor, preferably Italian
Dress shirts-long sleeve preferred
Ties-I don’t have kids so no one gives me ties
Bike tubes, tools or useful components
Bathing suits

You get the idea. And while you’re at it, figure out how to make my race fees tax deductible-there must be a way.